Ben Cousins: Dead-set Aussie fuckin' legend.

So, I don't much care for football. At best, I think it's a way to keep bogans entertained and off the ski slopes during winter. However, I can admit to a growing interest in it now that the entire Ben Cousins fiasco continues to get better and better. Last we heard from our hero he was dressing like a rock star and text messaging bitches from the dock in court a couple of weeks ago. As my female friends said 'He is so fucking hot'.

As demanded by the increasingly Americanised media, he had to go and do his penance in rehab. In Los Angeles. Yeah.

Rehab.

For cocaine use.

In L.O.S. A.N.G.E.L.E.S.



Ahem.

So he flies to LA LA Land. And is promptly picked up at the airport by two hot bitches, and pisses that rehab nonsense off altogether.


That's the 21st century equivalent of Boonie's massive can intake on the way to Heathrow.

My favourite part of this story is this quote from West Coast Eagles boss Trevor Nisbet: "It seems to us he never had any intentions to return (to rehab). We feel betrayed."

Trevor - you are a tool.

Good foresight, mate.

On another matter, how awesome is Cousins' tatt going to look when it perfectly frames his beer gut in ten years?




Such is middle-age, dickhead.

I hate it when people I don't like get it right

So if you're Australian you've probably had a gutful of the whole Ben Cousins thing by now.
In my opinion, the guy is getting a hard time for doing what half the city tacitly acknowledges they do whenever they can afford it or they can get their hands on it.

Well, All Men Are Liars reckons that Cousins is getting a hard time because A: Journalists are jealous of him, and B: He's not contrite enough.

Kinda like the same way that Lindy Chamberlain got a hard time because A: All journalists secretly want to kill their kids, and B: She wasn't contrite.

Oh journalism! When will you get over your jealousy?